Well, life has a way of being surprising. If you had told me eleven months ago that I’d be with a new girl. I think I would’ve laughed. So here I am now.. New girl, new attitudes, sober, and moving forward. Its odd really. I changed my major, and almost done with my AA. Sure, I still have some nasty mood swings, bipolar disorder will do that. I’m learning how to manage them. So now, I face a wide open future and I’m not afraid.
My black ribbon… I have self-harmed. I have considered suicide. I wear this today, like so many others. Please stay strong
| — | I just searched “Black Ribbon” on Tumblr, and there are far too many people that are wearing them. Its sad to think that that many people have self-harmed, havent ate, thought about suicide, or attempted it, been bullied, called fat, called ugly.. Theres just too many people that go through that. But its even worse because all these people have different reasons for doing what they do. And I’m tired of hearing people say: “oh, its just a choice, or you’re doing it for attention” Like fuck you. I mean really. Would that many people do it for attention? or just because they chose to? No, they wouldnt. They are in pain, whether its emotional, or physical, or they are bullied, or they are in rough situations.. They need people to be there for them. Whether they admit it or not, they need someone to be there. So this is what I’m gonna do. If you are wearing a black ribbon today on November 30th, like this post or reblog it, and i will send you a message hoping to make your day brighter, and possibly put a smile on your face.. No one needs to be going through that alone. And I know there are people that say: “Oh, its stupid and I dont understand it, and all this other shit” And they might not be here for you, but I am.<3(: So like this, reblog it, something, and I will send you a message(: If you dont have an ask page, I wont be able to send it, so be sure you have one<3(: (via starsandsins) |
Tomorrow.. Well.. What can I say about tomorrow. It’s Samhain. It’s All Hallows eve… It’s also a day that used to mean a lot to me. A whole lot. If we hadn’t broken up, my ex and I would’ve been together two years tomorrow. I guess it really doesn’t matter I should be over this by now. But I feel the tears just welling to the surface as I type this. Plenty of people have told me.. It’s not a good idea.. It’ll never work out. How could you have trust again. The past will only haunt you. It does haunt me. Everyday. Sometimes I wish it would stop. Sometimes.. I think other things. That aren’t so pleasant. I’m sure she’s moved on, and is happier where she is. I’m alone, I keep seeing things about having a condom on Halloween.. What the fuck do I need a condom for… I probably should just do the world a favor.
This is a stupid post, and I’m sorry.. but its from a stupid person.. so what do you expect. All I really know is.. Sometimes I wish I could take back everything I did wrong.. And fresh start it between her and I. But it’s been nine months.. No matter how much I wish for it.. It isn’t going to happen. I’m a distant memory to her. Ooh well. Oooh.. shit.. It’s today now. No wonder I’m crying.
I guess I’d better prepare for being forever alone. Thats how I was before I met her.. and now that I left her, I’m back there again.
Excuse the stupid post.
